Scarlet Sunlight

 

    "You are my sunshine!  My only sunshine!  You make me happy when skies are gray!

You never know, dear, how much I love you.  Please don't take my sunshine away."

     Mommy always sang this to me when I was younger.  It helped me to forget the things that Daddy did to Mommy and Johnny.  Daddy was always angry at our home.  He'd come home from work and start throwing things at mommy.  It got loud and I hid under the table every time Daddy would shout at Mommy until Johnny got Daddy to leave.  

Johnny was Mommy's boyfriend but treated me like a princess.  I always got to play with the newest dolls, and he always took me to the carnival and drove me to school.  Johnny cared for me like he did Mommy, but Daddy was always mean to Mommy.  

      Daddy would come in the house and yell at Mommy.  He was always there, yelling at Mommy to "give me Tanya back."  I never wanted to go with Daddy, and he would try to fight with Mommy.  Johnny and Daddy would argue outside and fight all the time.  Daddy would hit Johnny and Johnny would drive Daddy away.  They always fought, and there was never happiness between them.  

     Pain...

     Daddy would go away for awhile, then come back later.  He and Mommy would never stop arguing, and Daddy tried to take me with him.  Daddy said I was in danger if I stayed home, but Mommy wouldn't let him take me.  His words scared me.  He said that people were getting sick, but Johnny told him it was all a bunch of lies and told him to leave.  Mommy kept taking me to school and made sure to bring me home.  Daddy would wait for me out by the school and offer to drop me off, but Mommy told me not to go with him.  I obeyed Mommy and got in the car with her.

     Every day I went to school, there would be less of my friends going.  Nobody was going to school but me.  Mommy told me they were not going to class and that they'd be in "big trouble" with their parents at home for not going.  She said she was proud of me for doing my homework and still going to school.  I didn't want to disappoint Mommy, so I kept going to school.  But weird things started happening.  My friends stopped going to school and a lot of the kids were gone.  My teacher left sick and only me and someone else was learning from the substitute teacher.  The other kid left and never came back either and I couldn't go to school anymore.

     Sickness...

     Mommy was upset that I couldn't keep going to school and told me to read my books and write down notes like in class.  I didn't want to disappoint Mommy, so I kept writing in my journal.  I had written down everything new I learned and made sure to write all of it down.  Daddy would still come sometimes and try to take me from her.  He said that "You're endangering her Rachel!  She can't stay here anymore!"  But as soon as Daddy came to talk to Mommy, Johnny made Daddy leave.

     Daddy and Johnny were always fighting.  Johnny kept telling Daddy that we were fine and that he didn't need to worry, but Daddy never left.  Daddy came back every day, trying to take me with him.  I love Daddy, but he is wrong.  I'm Mommy's little sunshine, and I belong to her.  She tells me how I make every day better for her, and that I mean the world to her.  But Mommy became worried when Johnny helped a man outside who needed help.  Mommy tried to save him, but he was gone before Mommy could help.  

Cold...

     Autumn arrived and both Mommy and Johnny made Halloween decorations.  I helped carve pumpkins and helped Mommy make some pumpkin pies.  Daddy came again and started smashing the decorations.  Johnny and Daddy started fighting outside and Johnny hurt Daddy's face.  I cried to Mommy for Johnny to stop, but Johnny kept hitting him.  He kept hitting him and hitting him.  Mommy went outside and tried to stop Johnny, but Johnny told her to go inside and couldn't stop him.  Johnny kept stomping on Daddy's face, making him turn red.

     Daddy didn't wake up after the fight and Johnny moved Daddy to the backyard and put him in the bushes.  He told me and Mommy not to talk about what happened and to not visit Daddy.  I wanted to see Daddy, but Mommy told me not to.  I didn't want to disappoint Mommy, so I didn't go see Daddy.  Mommy didn't have to tell me that Daddy was gone, and Johnny made Daddy go, but I couldn't help Daddy.  Mommy told me to keep writing everything in my journal, so I wrote about how I missed Daddy.  Daddy was mean and yelled a lot, but he was still my Daddy and I missed him.  I wanted Daddy back, but he was gone, and he won't come back.

Death...

     Johnny started getting sick.  Mommy tried to get him medicine, but they ran out.  All the stores were closed and no kids were outside.  No one was playing, no cars went by, and no noises were outside.  The T.V. stopped working and Mommy was making smaller lunches and dinners.  She told me "we need to watch what we eat."  I listened to Mommy and ate only what she gave me.  Johnny didn't leave his bed for a week and one day Mommy woke up and said he was cold.  Mommy was in tears and I tried to cheer her up.  She smiled and hugged me.  "You will always be my little sunshine, Tanya."  

     Mommy started to get sick too.  I tried to help Mommy to get better.  I gave her food, but she told me not to.  She told me that she would get better if I just brought her water.  I didn't want to disappoint Mommy, so I did as she told me.  She would sing to me at night that song I liked.  

     "You are my sunshine!  My only sunshine!  You make me happy when skies are gray!

You never know, dear, how much I love you.  Please don't take my sunshine away."

     Mommy kept getting sick and told me one night before falling asleep, "You will always be my little sunshine."  I woke up the next morning and found Mommy.  She was cold and when I shook her she didn't wake up.  Mommy was gone, and so was the food.  I ate what was left, but I kept getting hungry.  No one was outside, and I was too scared to go outside.  Mommy, I'm so sorry I disappointed you.  I was just...I was just so hungry that I-I had to.  Mommy was so tasty, and the red that came out tasted so good.  The hunger went away the more I ate, and Mommy still smiled at me.  I got Mommy's heart out and took a bite.  I ate it all.  I feel like I was bad, but I was just so hungry.  But I'm still mommy's little sunshine.  

Right?...