The Quota

 

 

 

            I find myself in a bit of an odd predicament.  See, I’m no longer what you would consider to be “human”.  I am what was once referred to as a “lost soul”, no longer among the living, and destined to a fate worse than death.  See, when most people die, they usually see a light at the end of a tunnel, with that light shining experiences that they had gone through during their life.  What many humans had theorized to be either “their light flashing before their eyes”, “a light at the end of the tunnel”, or just some combination of memories that the mind would try to use to explain what couldn’t be explained, this is what most people would consider to be the “end of life” sequence.  Well, most of that is true, except for one major detail that people who are on the verge of dying never noticed. 

Due to the light shining so brightly and depicting memories and warmth so vividly, they fail to see the person at the end of that tunnel.  Usually, it’s an angel or something equivalent that is guiding them to their afterlife of choice.  However, sometimes there is another spirit at the end of that tunnel that tries to show even sweeter memories, hoping to lure the target faster towards the edge where spirits like mine pounce and drag humans that had just died towards a spiritual demise, a place I will simply refer to as “Nivrium”.  Most people refer to it as “Hell” and have their own vivid depictions of what it looks like and how to get there.  What not everyone realizes is that not all humans or other beings with such sense of morality end up in places like “Hell”.  No, this is a place for those who did not escape once the final images of the tunnel could no longer hide our true intentions.  Those who kept going were trapped at the edge of the tunnel and were dragged to “Nivrium” upon arrival. 

You could call me a devil, a daemon, a jinn, or any number of malevolent spirit names.  In reality, I am but a servant for the forces of “Nivrium”.  No, this place is not like most “hells” that you have heard of, with a demonic ruler and evil forces that destroy people under extreme conditions like immense fire or unbearable cold.  No, this place exists for those to drag other souls into, in hopes of an exchange of salvation.  The first spirit that found this place acts as a keeper of “Nivrium”, but one could hardly call them one of royalty, much less one of infamous regard.  No, this entity prefers to remain nameless, for it too is cursed to live out its experience here and only exists to be the gateway that allows spirits like me to “escape”. 

In exchange for luring other spirits here, we are given prices and quotas to meet in order to unlock certain means of escape.  For those who provide 50,000 souls, they are reincarnated into an entity, such as what humans would call a tree or mushroom.  For those who provide more and more souls, their chances at freedom grow much higher and the forms they can take would allow for them to have more freedom and be able to reincarnate as something desirable to most beings.  For many former human spirits, they often clamber for the 200,000 and 500,000 quotas to reincarnate as a human or even as a human with higher power and status than their previous lives.  However, the one that few seem to prize, due to how steep it is as a form of quota, is the 1,000,000 soul quota, upon which, you are freed from ever returning to “Nivrium” and are allowed to truly be at peace with the other souls that were found and managed to escape. 

However, the longer you stay trapped as a spirit that serves the nameless gatekeeper and the “Nivrium”, you grow ever more hideous in appearance, making the process of collecting spirits much more difficult, as the light becomes less useful at hiding your growing disfigurement and appearance.  Some of us choose to help others trapped in the “Nivrium” by aiding as decoys to help those who have grown more hideous to collect their quotas.  However, humans are not an easy spirit to collect.  Of all of the beings in existence, humans tend to have higher sensitivities to things they consider “hideous”, especially to those who were once considered human, like myself. 

            I try to aid some of the less fortunate to meet their quotas, but I feel that my time as a decoy will eventually be replaced with my need for one.  I have reached a quota of a thousand souls so far, but I am still far from reaching my desired goal of the million, so that I may fully be at rest.  One of my friends seeks out the same goal, but has grown far too disfigured to be truly concealed by our light and its tricks. 

We try to reach for and use the most personal and happiest moments of a being’s life, while trying to avoid what has made them a target for us.  The usual reason they become susceptible to our tricks is because they would rather favor their positive experiences and deceive themselves of the terrible things that made them such targets.  Typical things, such as deep betrayal, the deliberate and unwarranted theft of the life of another being, the abuse of power over another, such as through sexual means, theft of what one holds most dear, are things that make many beings that have ever existed easy targets.  As our numbers grow in the “Nivrium”, so too must the task be of bringing more here, less we grow more hideous and tortured by our imprisonment and existence. 

During my most recent attempt at trying to help my friend meet their quota, the spirit of a young woman was being sent down one of the many tunnels through our spiritual realm.  We tried to bring her closer to the edge of the tunnel, but she did not seem to rely so deeply on her happiest moments.  She seemed to live an almost peaceful life, one limited in strife and troubles.  She almost seemed too innocent for what was about to happen, but my friend grew far too impatient with trying to meet their quota.  My friend was relatively close and was not about to let a seemingly innocent spirit escape due to it appearing to be innocent.  My friend leapt out from behind the light we had used to deceive her with and began chasing her spirit down the tunnel.  She screamed in absolute horror.  With the illusion having been shattered, my friend raced down the edge of the tunnel to grab her spirit and drag it to the end and transport her to the “Nivrium”.  It felt so cruel to bring her to such a place, someone who seemingly did not deserve what had just happened to her.  But her screams, her abject screams of horror brought back memories from when I was a human.  I had long wondered why I was brought here, and I suddenly remembered.

As a human, I was far from kind and often took advantage of others.  I cared not for the plight of my fellow people and took whatever I pleased from them.  I was a terrible father and mistreated my wife and baby daughter with reckless abandonment.  One night, after having come home from a lot of drinking, my wife and I began to argue about my drinking habits.  I cared not for her arguments and screaming until she hit me with a lamp vase, trying to release her frustration, in hopes of making me stop my destructive habits.  Unfortunately for her, that was when the destruction truly began. 

I grabbed her by the throat and began to beat her senselessly.  Her cries and screams grew too loud on my drunken ears, so I pressed both of my hands firmly around her throat, strangling her to her demise, watching as the light at the end of the tunnel claimed what lied behind her eyes.  In my drunken stupor and our fighting, my baby daughter was also crying, so I silenced her screams and her life as well.  In my frustration and despair, I ran outside, hoping to find someone, anyone who would take me out of my misery.  And that’s when I saw two lights heading down the street towards me as I felt an immense sense of pain from the impact and was immediately thrown down a tunnel to view my life as it flashed before my eyes.  I did not realize what was happening as my memories all came back and I felt warm.  It wasn’t until I saw my friend’s disfigured appearance at the end of the tunnel that I realized what was happening and tried to escape.  It was too late.  By the time I saw who would become my friend inside the “Nivrium”, I was theirs for the taking. 

I cannot say that I don’t deserve what has happened to me, but the screams of my friend’s most recent capture don’t make my memories any easier.  As much as it pains me to know that I will soon do similar things to gain my peace as my friend just did, this is what I must do.  This is the price I must pay.  If I am to share in peace with my friend, the one who brought me here, I must meet my quota and help them reach theirs.  Only then will we know peace, and only then will I know what they truly look like, beyond the horrors of the “Nivrium” and its torture.  1,049 down, less than a million to go…